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Be volgra, s'esser pogues Tot lo mal qu'ai fait desfar, E·l be que non ai fait far. Ai! Cum m'en fora ben pres Si·l bes fos mals e·l mals bes! Aissi no·m calgra doptar, Anz fora·l mieus bes tans grans Qu'ieu fora pars d'un dels sans. Aras no sai cum s'anara de me, Tan son li mal gran e petit li be. Tant mi sent vas dieu mespres Qu'ab pauc no·m cug desperar; Pois sai que non o dei far, Quar majer es sa merces Que·l mieus grans peccatz non es. Aisso·m fai assegurar. Pero be volgra tres tans Viure de jornals e d'ans A sa honor, per miels trobar merce, Cum li sui stat fals e de mala fe. Verais Ihesus Crist no·us pes Si merce vos aus preiar. Merces! No·m laissetz cobrar Al diable que·m ten pres. E car anc fis que·il plagues, Al cors lo rendetz tot car; Al cors qu'a faitz los engans En sia faitz lo demans; Lo cors n'aia la pena que·l cove, Qu'elh a trahit l'arma e vos e se. Be sai, si ja·m val merces, Que merces sera ses par. Sol aisso·m deu esglaiar Que ren plus fach non agues. Mas las setmanas e·ls mes E·ls ans qu'ai laissatz passar Qu'ieu no fui de dieu membrans, Sol aisso·m deu esser dans: Quar gazardo non fai hom de non-re, E quier l'a tort qui non a fach per que. Ben sai que tart mi sui pres A merce vas dieu clamar; Mas el mi mandet, so·m par, Que qual hora que vengues No·m soanaria ges. E fora temps d'albergar; Pero be volgra enans Laissar mos fallimens grans, Quar en sa cort non pot intrar, so cre, Nulhs hom tacatz de nulha laia re. Segles desleials, truans, Fals, enganaire d'engans, Ab vos non a nulhs hom honor ni be Pueis ama dieu ni·l tem ni·l blan ni·l cre. |
I would like, if it could be, to undo all the evil I have done and do all good I haven't done. Alas! How good would I have it if all the good were evil and all the evil good! That way I wouldn't need to doubt, instead, the good would be so great that I would be a peer of the saints. Now I don't know what will be of me, so great is the evil, and so little the good. I feel so guilty towards god that I am nearly despairing; but then I know that I must not because his mercy is greater than my greatest sin is. That reassures me. Still, I would like to live three times more days and years in his honour, to find better salvation, than I have spent being false and of ill will. True Jesus Christ, do not be offended if I dare beg you for mercy. Mercy! Don't let the devil, who keeps me down, take me away. And since I did what pleased it, make the body pay dearly for it; the body, which made the deceptions, be made to amend; the body have the penance it deserves, for it has betrayed the soul and you and itself. I know well that, if mercy helps me, that mercy will be without peer. This only should scare me: that I haven't done more. But the weeks and the months and the years I let pass by without remembering god, this only must be my damnation: for one does not get a reward out of inaction and he is wrong who demands it without having done something for it I know well that I have late begun pleading for god's mercy; but he made me know, it seems to me, that, regardless of the time, he would not reject me. And it'd be time to take refuge; thus I'd want, from now on, to leave my great sins, for no one can enter his court, I do believe, when stained by evil actions. Perfidious, vile, false world, cunning deceiver, in you no man has honour nor good when he loves god and fears and praises and believes him. |